An open letter to my 18 year old self.

 I was inspired to write this letter because I saw a friend post the question, "what advice would you give yourself 10 years ago?"  Wow.  10 years ago?  I was a totally different person, probably somewhat unrecognizable to who I am now.  My friend probably had a sermon to go along with this question, but for me, I've been contemplating just what I would tell myself.

 

So here we go.

 

Dear 18 year old Kelli,

 

It's hard to know what to say because everything I am going to tell you is going to sound like an adult. I can hear you now, saying you are an adult.  No you are not.  You are 18.  You are a fake adult.  Yes, you've had responsibilities, but not the kind that require a bonus check to pay for a bill of some sort. I'm not sure if I'll be able to convince you completely to trust me (which is really just an older, wiser version of yourself by the way), but will you just do me the courteousy and listen anyway?

 

It's kind of exciting being on this side of the pen.  The one writing and not reading, because I know what the next ten years of your life will look like.  I know about future relationships, struggles and successes.  It's hard for me not to want to divulge all these secrets, but quite frankly, it's not going to do you any good. I wouldn't want to run the next ten year adventure for you. So, this letter unfortunately for you, won't disclose when and if there is marriage, if you'll ever be a mom, what career you will obtain, the millions of dollars you will or won't make or anything else on the matter.  I wouldn't want that information to taint what you'd naturally pick or do anyway.  Besides you already got some good news.  You live for the next ten years.  Meaning the rapture didn't happen and yes, you'd better study for all your college finals. 

Instead, I'll let you figure it out.  Don't worry, I think you made some great choices. Except for that time you ate week old pizza.  That was not a good choice.

 

Anyway, here is my list of advice to you.  It's not ordered in any particular way, just what came to thought at the time.

 

1. Take a finance class. Now.  Don't wait. You need to educate yourself on how to make money, spend money and save money.  The earlier you can do it, the better. It's imperative that you learn how to honor God with your resources, no matter the size or amount you make.  

 

2. Get an accountability partner or a mentor.  Find someone who is willing to pour into you, to give you guidance and wisdom.  You also need someone who you can be totally honest with and is willing to hold you accountable for your actions. You and temptation are no strangers, so it is crucial you find a person who is going to confront you and not let you hide behind secret struggles.

 

3. You won't marry Justin Timberlake.  Sorry, I know I said I wouldn't divulge any future secrets, but you might as well take the posters down in your room.  Not happening.  I hear your teenage heart crush a little bit. Okay, a lot a bit.  But trust me.  This is a good thing. :)

 

4. You don't know it all. And you can't fix it all.   So make sure you learn to have a teachable spirit.  And I mean learn because Kelli, I know you and humility is not your middle name. It's easy to believe at your age that you are going to change the world, and Kelli, I sure hope you do.  But you aren't going to change it by assuming you are the only one with the answer. Be bold, be passionate, but in all things, be humble.

 

5. Really learn to cultivate a heart of compassion.  This bit of advice really ties in with my previous thought, but quite frankly, the world needs less judges and more people who are willing to just be kind. You don't lean towards the compassion spectrum naturally, so you are going to need to work at this trait, too.  Have absolutes, and make sure you know what is truth, but spend time loving people.  

 

6. Spend as much time with God as possible.  Wow.  Can you please highlight, star, bold and underline that last statement. Nothing else will reap greater rewards.  The more you spend time with God and grow in your relationship with Him, the more you will learn He is trustworthy.  The next ten years you will experience joys, sorrows, triumphs and trials.  And nothing will help you navigate life's waters better than knowing the Creator of the Universe.  The Lord who made you.   

 

7. Be thankful in all things.  You will experience all kinds of delight and grief, but always learn to find pleasure and gratitude in the day to day.  It is the way to peace and contentment. Be thankful that God is going to ask you to partake in His Story.

 

8. Your plans won't all succeed.  And that's a good thing. Trust God's promises that His ways are not your ways.  Trust that He knows when you are disappointed, but He has a greater purpose for you and your life. 

 

9. Enjoy the fact that you can eat what you want when you want.  It won't last forever.  There will come a day when you actually just smell chocolate and your pants will hate you for it.  Relish your fried chicken sandwiches, 20oz Pepsi and three Otis Spunkmyer cookies for lunch.  Some good things must end.  This is one of them.

 

10. Devote time in people. One of the best investments you can make, besides learning about God, is in people. Yes, some will take advantage of you, some will never repay you what you gave them in conversation or in time of need.  But more importantly, invest in people because that's where Jesus' heart was and is.  He loved people deeply.  Make sure you do, too.

 

11. Be thankful for the people in your life right now.  They won't always be here.  Some will move, some will pass on, some relationships will just go their separate ways.  But always be thankful for the opportunity you had to know this person and the impact they made on your life. Honor those relationships by taking what you learned from that person and give it to the next person you meet.

 

12. Continue to enjoy life.  And laugh a lot. Stay up late and watch Dumb and Dumber just one more time. Be giggly and silly.  It's good for your soul to laugh :)

 

Kelli, one more thing before I end this letter.  Your life will be better than you could have imagined.  It will be difficult and overwhelming at times, it will be challenging.  But you will be better for it.  You will learn discipline, you will learn humility, and you will learn compassion.  So just trust that as you walk through times that are tough, because that's what life is good at, giving us difficulty, trust that God is capable of using those overwhelming times and making us more like Him.  That is if you let Him. You won't understand everything in life, heck, I still don't.  And I am you, ten years later.  But just trust God's word.  Circle His promises and hold Him to those in your most desperate times.  He will never leave you, nor forsake you.  His ways are not your ways. And that's something to be thankful for right there.

 

I hope I didn't write in some sort of cryptic, "vaguebooking" type of way.  If it makes you feel better, I wrote this advice done and wonder if my 39 year old self isn't saying some of this same information.

 

Look forward to the next ten years, it will be a life changing adventure!

 

Your 29 year old self.